Warning…Blonde Jokes. Sense of Humor Only.

 

Q: Why did the blonde nurse bring a red marker to work?
A: In case she had to draw blood!

There were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde. They all worked together at an office.
Every day they noticed that their boss left work a little early. So one day they met together and decided that today when the boss left, they would all leave early too.
The boss left and so did they. The Brunette went home and straight to bed so could get an early start the next morning. The Red Head went home to get in a quick work out before her dinner date. The Blonde went home and walked into the bedroom. She opens the door slowly and saw her husband in bed with her boss, so she shut the door and left.
The next day, the Brunette and the Red Head are talking about going home early again. They ask the Blonde if she wants to leave early again.
“No,” she says, “yesterday I nearly got caught!”

Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.

Q1 How can you tell if a blonde’s been using the computer?
A: There’s white-out on the screen.

Q2: How can you tell if another blonde’s been using the computer?
A: There’s writing on the white-out.

Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?
A: She didn’t like it because she couldn’t get channel 9.

Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W’s.

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out “GREEN SIDE UP!” In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled “GREEN SIDE UP!” The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled “GREEN SIDE UP!”
The lady then asked him, “Why do you keep yelling ‘green side up’?”
“I’m sorry,” came the reply. “But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.
~Steve~

 

 

New Blonde (or insert your own) Joke…sorry..LOL

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He  finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After  sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, ‘Hey, you wanna  hear a blonde joke?’

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, ‘Before you tell  that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, Given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that  blonde joke?’

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, ‘No…not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.’

~Steve~                                      H/T   I_MAN

Enough of Dumb Blonde, Brunette, Redhead, Black , Curly, straight, long, short Jokes!

A young ventriloquist is touring Sweden and, one night, he’s doing a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.
Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, “I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype
Swedish blond women that way? What does the color of a woman’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being?

It’s men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as people. Its people like you that make others think that all Blondes are dumb! You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general…pathetically all in the name of humor!”

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells:
“You stay out of this! I’m talking to that little poop head  on your lap.”
~Steve~                           H/T  I_Man