a while ago I posted and optical illusion with two tables.
OK, they look like they are different sizes right? ElWrongo
Take a look at this crazy Russion..LOL in Vid as he shows you.
~Steve~ A special thank you to Joseph for finding this
‘What was that for?’ the man asked.
The wife replied ‘That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on
it that I found in your pants pocket.’
The man then said ‘When I was at the races last week, Jenny was the name
of the horse I bet on!’ His wife then apologised and went on with the
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the
head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness, the man asked why she had hit again.
His wife replied ‘Your horse just phoned!’
~Steve~ H/T Joseph
Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is:
There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son’s family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 7-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time — just him and his granddaughter
One particular Saturday, however, he had a bad cold and really didn’t feel like being up at all. He knew his granddaughter always looked forward to their drives and would be disappointed. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter for the drive.
When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather who was still in bed. “Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?” he asked. “Oh, yes, Pa Pa, it was really wonderful. We didn’t see a single poophead, piece of crap, horse’s arse, blind SOB, dipwad, Muslim goat humper or son of a B….. anywhere we went!”
Almost brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it?
~Steve~ H/T Dodger Codger.
OK everyone, like it or not I am still here and will do my best to aggravate.
Tying up some loose ends, so hopefully Sat, or Sun I will try and be back in rare form. You know how we say people are stupid and only know about American Idol? I’ve unplugged from the world for about a week and I am lost. Wow we process a lot in a week.
———————– Steve—- ——— H/T Grouchy————————–
Urgent Warning From CDC
Click on info to enlarge
The guys were all at a deer camp. No one wanted to room with Bob, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn’t fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.
The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, “Man, what happened to you? He said, “Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night.”
The next night it was a different guy’s turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot. They said, “Man, what happened to you? You look awful! He said, ‘Man, that Bob shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night.”
The third night was Fred’s turn. Fred was a tanned, older cowboy, a man’s man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. “Good morning!” he said.
They couldn’t believe it. “Man, what happened?” they asked.
Fred said, “Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night. Bob sat up and watched me all night.”
~Steve~ H/T Joseph
OK, big macho guy that I am.. Yea right, I crack myself up sometimes.
Any way I not big on Ballet, but watch these 2 vids. Pretty amazing Stuff. First one Joseph sent and while I was there I saw this second one. Some people will not let anything get in the way of their passion.
~ Steve~ H/T Joseph
Handicapped. Don’t think so.
A lonely widow, age 70, decided that it was time to get married again.
She put an ad in the local paper that read:
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70′s),
MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME
MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!!!!!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.
The old woman said, ‘You’re not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you…you have no legs!
The old man smiled, ‘Therefore, I cannot run around on you!’
She snorted. ‘You don’t have any arms either!’
Again, the old man smiled, ‘Therefore, I can never beat you!’
She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, ‘Are you still good in bed???’
The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said,
‘Rang the doorbell didn’t I?’
~Steve~ H/T Gramma Cindy
A guy is 75 years old and loves to fish.
He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say,
‘Pick me up.’
He looked around and couldn’t see anyone.
He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again,
‘Pick me up.’
He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.
The man said, ‘Are you talking to me?’
The frog said, ‘Yes, I’m talking to you.’
‘Pick me up then kiss me and I’ll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.
I’ll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your bride!’
The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his pocket.
The frog said, ‘What, are you nuts? Didn’t you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride.’
He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,
‘Nah, at my age I’d rather have a talking frog.’
~Steve~ H/T Joseph
… and says, “Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn’t really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve farted at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I was farting because they don’t smell and are silent.”
The doctor says, “I see. Here’s a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week.”
The next week the lady goes back. “Doctor,” she says, “I don’t know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts … although still silent… stink terribly.”
The doctor says, “Good! Now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, let’s start working on your hearing.”
~Steve~ H/T Cynthia
Time for today’s “Let’s scare the crap out of our readers” story.
This one I found on “Before it’s News.”
Please watch the video at bottom. It will kind of make you feel bad for an armed robber.
By The Dollar Vigilante (Reporter)
Friday, February 18, 2011 4:21
I received a lot of feedback about my interesting day in the land of the free yesterday. Most were to tell me of similar horror stories they had witnessed. But, some people suggested I must be exaggerating – or even made up the story completely.
To that, I offer some photo evidence.
A number of my colleagues from the conference witnessed me being taken down last night for having walked outside of a bar with my drink for a few moments and Your Trusty Chief Editor Being Attended to by the Authorities –
Interestingly, just after this, I walked into a gas station to ask someone for directions (trying to find a place I could go where I was not banned for 30 days). The girl working at the store looked upset and was running around and trying to call someone on her mobile phone. I asked her what was going on. She said she had just gotten robbed.
I asked her if she was ok and if there was anything I could do and she told me, “No, it’s okay, this happens all the time.”
I asked her what she meant. A few times per year?
“No, almost every night,” she replied, almost embarrassed.
Read the rest Here