Men Teaching Classes for women
at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTRE
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
By June 30, 2012
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM .
Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer – How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..
Class 2
Which Takes More Energy – Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a SEPHORA store Without Stopping?–Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase– Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
Curling Irons–Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
At 7:00 PM
Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum ..
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch–They Make Medicine for PMS – USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!–Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live–How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
From the Guys in the Witness Protection Program
~Steve~ H/T Grouchy
Steve, looks like men will be teaching the classes as soon as the women finish explaining to them how all this is to be done….LOL
~~Mrs. Patriot
Steve, it’s all good. I can handle ‘em. They’re good for a laugh.
~~Mrs. Patriot
The Wal-Mart thing was stupid, that would be good for a redneck joke but not women. Naming a makeup or clothing store (or even just “the mall”) would have been funnier.
Every body knows that Walmart is for men…high fashion,fishing bait
and groceries all in one swoop….
How does one get into that witless protection thingy ?
class 7? give it up, can’t be done. and the walmart thing, change to burkes or bealles outlet.
They actually DONT make medicine for PMS. If you are referring to the ads you see on TV, that’s like aspirin for cancer pain. So I’m NOT going to kill you (probably only because I am NOT currently PMS-ing), but I do find that portion of this list as insensitive as suggesting to cancer patients, “They make aspirin for pain, USE it.”
-
In closing – I will say to you what I say to my husband. You think its difficult on YOUR end of PMS. You should try it from this side. ** perspective**
A lot of men go on about respect, how important it is for them to be treated with respect, but when women want respect we “need to lighten up.” Griping about PMS is like a healthy person griping about a handicapped parking space. Personally I’d rather have to walk farther to the store than be in a wheelchair. Regarding your “You’re getting better” comment above (which I corrected the tense from “your” to “you’re”) I’ve only complained about the blond jokes because they are a politically correct and scientifically backwards assertion that fair coloring tends to correlate with a lower IQ. It’s like these incessant kids’ TV shows depicting a black kid who constantly makes all A’s and a stupid white boy who can’t make good grades. And women having a choice about childbirth is fairly recent, for thousands of years women were property of men, and not much sleep was lost over the poor woman dying in childbirth, just so long as the baby was a precious male.
It must be that time of the month.
~~Mrs. Patriot
I’d be that “Great Woman and Friend” and am proud to be Steve’s “Great Woman and Friend.”
My message to Julia is:
Please lighten up. If you get all offended by just a blonde joke — which NO ONE takes seriously as a true-fact statement about blonde women ’cause EVERYONE except Julia knows IT’S A JOKE — then how could you possibly survive with all the many many offenses out there each day? You must be very young with lots of energy to spare. I, however, don’t, and have learnt I must guard and conserve my energy by choosing my battles. As Steve has said, our non-PC jokes are sure to offend every conceivable racial, ethnic, gender, hair-color, whatever group. You don’t like our blonde jokes? The solution is to STOP READING THEM, ’cause you sure ain’t gonna stop us from posting them.
Well said! Life is too short. Laughter is the best medicine.
~~Mrs. Patriot
Thanks, Mrs. Patriot!
I know Steve has already welcomed you, but I’ll do it again:
A very warm and enthusiastic WELCOME to FOTM, Mrs. Patriot! (Where is Mr. Patriot?)
~Eowyn
Owner, FOTM
THANKS!
Mr. Patriot (The Patriot) blogs under afathersapocalypsis.wordpress.com AND constitutionclub.org
I bounce my opinions and thoughts off of him. My witty personality can easily be referred as sarcasm so I frequently refrain my voicing my opinion (s). He’s better at debating than I am. He has been subscribed to FOTM for some time and is continually complementing those at FOTM. If you haven’t already, check out the sites listed above. Good reading material.
Thanks again for the welcome from both of you. You have indeed made me feel welcome with a sense of family.
~~Mrs. Patriot
What’s SG???
I believe that’s him calling you “Sexy Goddess”
~~Mrs. Patriot
Knowing Steve, that’d be Steve signing himself as “Sexy Goddess”. LOL
I don’t have a problem with people writing the blond jokes, the point is that I wrote a complaint about one ONCE and since then have read multiple comments directed at me instead of just dropping it at the first comment made months ago. The latest one was the condescending, “you’re getting better,” so I thought maybe if I explained my reason for complaining MONTHS ago everybody would drop it.
And the Little Red Riding Hood story is in fact the opposite of the point I was making about childbirth. The liberals in the story complained about men protecting women and treating us as special, which to me is absurd, I love chivalry. My complaint about childbirth was some men think it’s funny to joke about how if it were up to them to have kids there would be very few, while ALSO gritting their teeth at women who don’t want to have kids, labeling them rebellious feminists. The Red Riding Hood story illustrated liberals complaining about men protecting women, I was complaining about treating women as expendable. Two totally opposite concepts.
So in a nut shell y’all drove me to explain myself about the blond jokes. And also, I made a comment on the 710/OIL joke in good humor that didn’t even address the fact they discussed a blond woman, but apparently it wasn’t enough to redeem myself and stop the incessant barrage of comments directed at me about blond jokes.
Okay, everyone — and that goes for Steve too:
STOP picking on Julia for her ONE comment objecting to blonde jokes!
To Julia:
I didn’t know that you spoke up because other commenters keep picking on your first comment. But then people on this site do this all the time. I always respond back by giving them a good wallop. So, go for it!
What happened was NOT just ONE wallop, it was never ending comments and the latest snide remark. I think the normal response would be to have forgotten about my comment within hours.
And how absurd for Steve to joke he’s “correcting” the “error of his ways” by BEING politically correct when my specific comment was COMPLAINING ABOUT political correctness, aka the black kid vs white kid on TV.
And is complaining about treating women as expendable really being politically correct or is it simply complaining about barbarism?!
And saying that men only joke about childbirth because they appreciate women doing something men wouldn’t do doesn’t hold up when you know those same men would have their fangs out if a woman didn’t want to have kids.
Dear Julia:
May I repeat my advice in a previous comment:
Choose Your Battles!
And to that I add another advice:
Choose Your Enemy(ies)!
You have so much fighting spirit in you, I’d love to see you help us when we’re fighting real battles against real opponents — liberal trolls.
I know the feeling Steve…
If there’s an exception to every rule, I must be it for number 12. I would rather have a root canal than shop, with or without a man.
Careful what you ask for…because eventually, when shopping HAS to be done, guess who has to do it?
I don’t mind shopping so much but I tell the lady that, ya know I’m getting bored when I ask ‘do they have that dress in my size’…
All good… 12 step programs work for everybody , don’t they… As for Walmart dresser… I loved it… Lol on both…
All right now…….be careful!
LOL – Even I don’t have the stones to have posted this.
-Dave
Class 5, never going to happen. Flat iron stays on counter PERIOD. hehe
And Class 10, I will fail. I have never, ever been able to parallel park so I don’t even try. I failed that portion of my driving test and was scarred for life
I’m in the same boat for parallel parking…
I cant parallel park for the life of me! I think the trick is that you have to locate your parking spot, gain speed and spin your car in a complete circle two times so that your car will miraculously slide right into that parking spot….oh well, looks impressive when it happens in the movies (or commercials)
~~Mrs. Patriot
One small comment, one huge smile for mankind! Just trying to ‘pay it forward’
No worries on “you” “you’re” etc etc. Thats (lol) the small stuff they’re referring to when they say “don’t sweat the small stu
ff” and besides, I don’t have that degree that
says “teacher”.
Ya but I doubt that I will ever be able to afford one…. So it’s drive around for a while…
Me too DCG! The curling iron NEVER moves and I wrecked the school’s Driver’s Ed vehicle trying to parallel park during my driving test. They used two metal high jumping poles…I completely took out one of the poles. I stuffed it up into the grill and thrashed the entire vehicle! Luckily it was a coach that taught it…I actually passed Driver’s Ed! When my Dad asked him “How?” he just said he didn’t want to ride in a car with me for another entire semester!
Don’t mess with the flat/curling iron!!
K, I didn’t trash a car during parallel parking yet I couldn’t get the car in the little space. Stoopid anyways when you can drive around to find space wide open. That’s my theory
Hahaha…totally agree!
Class 7… What’s wrong with 14 kinds of soap… Different scent for two Weeks straight…
I see men jokes all day and have not once observed a woman complain…
Also, the ‘He was right, I was wrong’ is not only pure genius but I have never heard a woman say that either.
Keep them coming, there are many, many more. No need to make fun of men, all I have to do is turn on the tv for that…
Ya know, that is true. You ARE right…lol
Women get upset and have their panties twisted when “we” hear men make a joke regarding females but “they” sure can dish it out. I’m certain that somebody out there will throw “OMG!” comments my way for saying…women are caddy.
~~Mrs. Patriot
Julia: If you can produce one post you have written to criticize men jokes, then you would have more credibility. After all, you are so passionate about defending women, I’m sure you feel the same way about insulting men and boys?
And why then did you make the Sephora joke 100 times better? It sounds like you get the jokes and could possibility write some? I think it helps to point out each others shortcomings, as they can be so annoying like the hair curler that seems to have a right to lay around the bathroom…
HAHAHAHAHAHA…These are too true Steve!!
Midol (PMS medication) was the FIRST thing I stocked up on when I heard the economy was so unstable! Even I can’t live with ME when it’s “that time of the month”! Let’s just say…I am absolutely DELIGHTFUL!
{smirk}
BTW girlies…I hate to tell ya…but I think we kinda brought it on ourselves considering Eve was the one that ATE the forbidden fruit! (Consequences always stink!)
And if we were ALL being honest here…the blonde jokes are pretty dead on! (But what would I know, I am just a dirty blonde!
)